How is it that any Canadian would still consider placing a vote for a Tory government, let alone look themselves in the face in the mirror if they’re actually a member of the party, you no doubt wonder? Don’t they care that the Conservatives are prepared to plunder our environment ad infinitum, stealing our descendants’ future? Don’t these people have kids, or grandchildren, you might ask, scratching your head? Don’t they care about the economy and want Canadians of all stripes to have good jobs? Don’t they want to stand up for our human rights, or are they all really just obsessed with Justin Trudeau’s haircut?
Well, recent evidence has come to light that finally explains this puzzling, irrational support for the Conservative Party. Yep, information has surfaced which suggested that for several years now the Tory party has operated a string of pharmaceutical manufacturing plants which have produced a drug known to key members of the Tory party as Conservazolam. Inspired by the Soma of Brave New World, Conservazolam dulls higher reasoning function, preventing independent and critical thought in its users and instills a euphoric sense of well-being and affection for the Conservative party. In fact, your friends or loved ones may even have been dosed with Conservazolam without realizing it as the drug is tasteless and dissolves quickly in water. In addition to the effects mentioned above, other common side effects include brain fog, dry mouth and constipation.
|Conservazolam, the Tory equivalent of Soma|