The following is aimed at residents of Canada. If you live here you already know we're in a health care emergency across the country. As Prime Minister Trudeau and Health Minister Duclos go into healthcare meetings with the provincial government, we need to make sure they don't just write a blank cheque to provinces but attach conditions that will protect public healthcare in Canada. Please sign the Lead Now petition and help convince Trudeau and Duclos to negotiate so the deal doesn't allow public money to be funnelled into private, for-profit healthcare, but instead builds thriving and resilient healthcare systems. Petition link:

 https://act.leadnow.ca/ntl-healthcare-ett/

After arriving home in Ontario last Friday (June 3rd) I received an email from the federal government Monday morning saying that I’d been randomly selected for Covid testing post-travel (news to me!) and that if they didn’t have my results within the next twenty-four hours they might contact me by phone. I promptly called the government public health number listed in the email. The first thing they asked me was how I’d gotten their number (Huh? You emailed me). After asking where I was calling from they instructed me to contact SwitchHealth to arrange testing. From the email I could see SwitchHealth was the wrong lab but when I read the email message back citing LifeLabs as responsible for Ontario testing the person on the phone insisted SwitchHealth was in charge of Ontario testing.

Let me tell you, SwitchHealth is not currently in charge of Ontario airport testing and only handle testing for Alberta and Atlantic Canada. Apparently, SwitchHealth were previously involved with Ontario testing but that changed at the beginning of June. After contacting LifeLabs (who perform the Ontario testing) LifeLabs informed me it would take 3 or 4 days for the test to arrive via FedEx and that I’d get robo calls from the government in the meantime.

The next day the harassing robo calls threatening $5k fines for non-compliance started with no opportunity to speak to a live person to explain what had happened. Day 6 my test kit arrived via FedEx mid-afternoon. The next available online test was for the following day. I finally had the virtual appointment yesterday (day 7) and the epic ridiculousness didn’t end there. The person who observed my online test instructed me to store it in a cold dark place away from sunlit, preferably a fridge, until FedEx could come pick it up. Supposedly they have to pick the sample up the same day or it’s no longer viable.

 

I called FedEx directly after my appointment, and they told me (knowing what it was) to leave the package outside my apartment building with a note attached explaining that it was a covid test so no one would steal it and said they’d pick it up anytime before 5. This was at ten AM. I repeated what I’d been told about keeping the package in the fridge and away from sunlight until they arrive and the FedEx employee somewhat wryly said they don’t have any fridges. Not wanting to give them an excuse not to pick the kit up, I did as close to asked as I was comfortable with, leaving the package between the inner and outer doors of my building where a FedEx driver wouldn’t have to endure contact with me to retrieve it. I checked on the package several times and it was still there at 3.30 but gone by 4.35, meaning my sample sat outside the security doors of my building for at least 5.5 hours!

I don’t disagree with Covid-19 testing. In fact, I took two rapid antigen tests (on day 4 and 5) after my dodgy return WestJet flight as there were many unmasked and sniffling people sitting near me on the plane and flight attendants weren’t enforcing federal masking rules. But when the random airport PRC testing that’s supposed to happen on day 1 doesn’t occur until day 7 I fail to see how it’s useful in any way. This entire experience was nothing but aggravation and ineptitude.

I'm massively behind on the WIP so it's time for a social media hiatus, except perhaps for the odd photo on Instagram (undoubtedly rare as I won't be doing much except taking a Carleton U course and writing). Please stay safe out there and by the time I return in a couple of months' time we'll be that much closer to a vaccine and will be able to say "President Biden and VP Harris" and it'll be a reality and not just a fervent wish so many of us are sending out into the universe! 

 

 

 

About six months have passed since I finished up my previous cover version of Just Like You Said It Would Be. Between the coronavirus pandemic and other worrying things going on in my life it's been pretty difficult to write. Progress on my WIP has been sadly negligible.

I see some hopeful signs that's beginning to change but in any case, somehow working on covers always feels like some kind of vacation or escape. When I can't write I can STILL work on cover art. So here we go again, again, again—voila the newest cover of Just Like You Said It Would Be.

If you want to read about messy first love, movie love (God I miss going to the movies!) and falling in love with Dublin, Ireland, this might be your kind of book.

Here's another new cover design, this one for the Yesterday duology packaged together as one book.

Finally, Finn Kavanagh is still one of my favourite characters so of course she deserved a cover change too. This one retained alot of the elements from the previous One Lonely Degree redesign.

I hope you're keeping safe and well wherever you're seeing out the first phase of this global pandemic. Also that you're taking it easy on yourself if you're not able to get certain things done during this worrying, strange and intense time. We'll get through this day by day, doing whatever we're doing, even if that means spending an inordinate amount of time designing new book covers while we should be writing! 

Bill Withers, 1976 | public domain photo

I was so sad, this morning, to hear of the passing of the great Bill Withers. I was feeling edgy walking down narrow pharmacy aisles yesterday trying to pick up all the things on my list. Some of the aisles were closed off for restocking and there were people in others so I had to circle around and come back when they'd gone. All in all it was taking ages and the longer I had to remain at the store the more nervous I felt about being out among even a small number of people during the COVID-19 pandemic. Then Lovely Day came on over the speakers and it felt like a sign, I relaxed.

Thank you, Bill Withers, for all the amazing music. It's made a difference in the lives of so many people and will continue to do so. In fact, in this crazy, uncertain and terrifying time we need your music more than ever.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! It's by far the strangest one any of us have ever seen but we can still celebrate Ireland. Here's one of my favourite Irish songs in honour of the day.

I can't get twenty seconds into it without feeling overwhelmed by longing for Ireland! Normally we're in Ireland every May and by the time we get there this year (which remains to be seen) I'll be so happy to see Ireland again that I'm likely to kiss the green ground!

Also in honour of St. Patrick's Day, I just bought & downloaded Niall Horan's new album, Heartbreak Weather. I loved his first album Flicker & can't wait to hear his new stuff.

Finally, here I am in Kilkenny in 2016 above.

Stay safe and stay home everyone. Together we're going to flatten the hell out of that curve!

Good riddance to one hideous year. 2017 was the year Donald Trump became the 45th president of the United States adding fuel to the flames of misogyny, racism, homophobia and a whole host of other prejudices, glorying in his ignorance and outrageous idiocy.

2017 was the year my dad was diagnosed with cancer and my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. 2017 was the year I spent Halloween in the local ER (and several days in different hospitals and doctor’s offices after that) with my husband as they investigated an alarming incident he’d suffered. 2017 was the year I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata after suddenly noticing a whopping bald patch four inches wide and which extended from nearly the tip of my ear down.

2017 was a year in which I continued to struggle with health issues that emerged four years earlier and which have many strange and not so wonderful symptoms. 2017 was also the year that I was extremely grateful to receive a Canada Council grant for a speculative YA novel I hope to finish soon. It was the year my first middle grade novel came out and the year that I decided to release the book of my heart after beginning a first draft of it eighteen years earlier.

Not everything about 2017 was darkness. Looking back hopefully we will recognize it as the year our society turned the corner on racism and sexism and collectively pledged to do better (and kept that promise and resolve!), led by brave women and men who refused to let the unjust status quo stand any longer. Yes, there were some fantastic bright spots to 2018 but all in all, personally I won’t miss it. I’m looking to the future with hope. Wishing you all a healthy, happy, hopeful 2018!

It looks like I need to do some dusting around here. Yep, it’s been a long time since I posted to this space. Mostly I’ve been saving up the words for my fiction writing. In recent months that means work on my young adult horror novel. But for the most part that’s not what I’m going to talk about here today. The subject I want to get into is the other thing that’s been eating up a good chunk of my time on a daily basis—the health problems that originated almost three years ago and became markedly more severe in April, 2014. If you’re interested—and particularly if you’re suffering from what medical professionals are telling you is plantar fasciitis but that won’t budge after years of severe pain—you can read some background on my feet/health problems here: The Pain of Standing Still.

Since the writing of that fall 2015 post my diagnosis is still the same—idiopathic polyneuropathy that’s causing numbness, pain, tingling and other weird sensations in my feet AS WELL AS something mysterious and as yet unidentified that the three neurologists I've seen swear isn’t caused by neuropathy but which has been creating a sensation of constant tightness and weakness in my legs, mainly below my knees. The results of these multiple issues are as follows: because I can’t feel my feet properly, I tend to stumble over them, particularly the right one. My feet hurt to a certain extent all the time but stiffen to an incredible degree if I’ve been off them for more than half an hour to forty minutes, and then stand. The odd tightness near the back of my legs which makes walking feel exceptionally weird and tiring also worsens once I’m off them and then stand again. Unfortunately, remaining on my feet for long periods isn’t a solution either because after a fairly short period walking or standing results in even worse pain.

All of this means I have become a Jack in the Box, constantly popping up!

Topical magnesium and daily Vitamin B Complex pills seem to have greatly reduced the painful foot and leg spasms that were waking me in the middle of the night. But as for the rest of my issues, unfortunately I don’t have solutions—I definitely don’t want to fill the hardcore prescriptions I’ve been written for Gabapentin and Lyrica which would only mask my symptoms, and judging by the list of side effects posted at the People's Pharmacy potentially create more problems than they cure.

So if I don’t have answers, why am I writing this post? Basically, SHOES. If you're having problems with foot pain, whether due to plantar fasciitis, neuropathy or another condition, it's enormously important that you find supportive footwear that helps take the sting, ache and electric zing out of walking. Some foot-pain sufferers swear by New Balance running shoes, others by Oofos recovery sandals, or Vionic Orthaheels, or many other brands.

What has worked best for me—the only reason I’ve been able to stay on my feet as much as I have, limited as this is, are Z-Coils. They reduce impact by fifty percent because of their unusual coil heel and as a result have helped me stay mobile where orthotics failed miserably (even though they were designed by a professional C-ped and revamped on four separate occasions). Z-Coils aren't the answer for everyone. No such single answer exists. They aren't cheap either, but they have definitely cut my pain and elongated the amount of time I can spend on my feet.

 

About a month ago, a poster on a Foot Pain message board I visit put Adidas Tubulars on my radar. I picked up a pair on sale and personally have found them very comfortable too. As you can see below, they also have a very unique heel which is quite good at absorbing impact.

I'm going for a back MRI in late September and have recently started acupuncture. I'm still fighting for my health, still trying to pin down exactly what's happening in my body, and in the meantime am still looking for helpful tools (like good shoes!) to help too. I hope if you're dealing with mysterious health problems that you keep fighting and searching for answers also. And, more than anything, I hope you feel better in the future than you do today!

 

Now, for the people with no health concerns, and no sore feet who have made it this far into the post, here are the first two paragraphs of my creepy horror novel.

I stumbled across a couple of articles about a month ago that I want to share with people who are experiencing problems with severe heel pain that won’t resolve, like I’ve been. Okay, I didn’t stumble across either of these articles. I’ve been reading everything I can about plantar fasciitis for well over a year now because chronic heel and arch pain so bad that you can’t really function anymore is a big deal. Honestly, before this I didn’t realize feet could hurt so much and not be broken. I’d had plantar fasciitis seven years earlier and after a couple months of stretching exercises it completely resolved. Well, not this time. This fresh bout of plantar fasciitis was relentless and extreme, effectively taking me out of commission.

If that’s the scenario you’ve been dealing with long-term too it could help you to read the following articles I’ve linked to, and if you haven’t had an ultrasound on your feet to diagnosis plantar fasciitis and your doctor is relying on X-rays alone as proof of the condition, urge them to send you for an ultrasound—a much better tool for diagnosis as the second article explains.

* Is Your Plantar Fasciitis Pain Not Going Away? It's Probably Not Plantar Fasciitis

* Study: Heel Pain, Very Common and Debilitating, Often Misdiagnosed as Plantar Fasciitis Use of Diagnostic Ultrasound Leads to More Accurate Diagnosis

Over the past year and a half I’ve done some blogging about my health issues because they’ve been pretty impossible to ignore. I’ve had slowly worsening heel pain for much longer still, but my situation became debilitating in March/April 2014, to the point that it was difficult to get down more than a single aisle at the grocery store (the shooting foot pain!), descending stairs was often torture (weird electrical pain cutting across my kneecaps) and waiting in line at the pharmacy for five minutes felt like gravity was pummelling my heels into the ground. In short, there wasn’t a lot I actually could do.

For the longest time I was told I had plantar fasciitis and patellofemoral syndrome. I went through several physiotherapy sessions (which made the pain in my feet and knees exponentially worse) beginning in January 2014 and had foot and knee X-rays which were spectacularly unilluminating. Next I was referred to a sports doctors who watched me walk, prodded my heels and arch a bit, then suggested custom made orthotics, a foam roller for my legs, rolling the arch of my feet over a frozen water bottle twice a day, a Strassburg sock (the sock equivalent of a plantar fasciitis night splint to keep your fascia from shortening while you sleep), gave me a prescription for heavy duty pain pills that I couldn’t take because they were too hard on my already ailing digestive system (pre-existing problems), and said the only thing she could really do was give me a cortisone shot. Her diagnosis: severe plantar fasciitis which had affected my whole kinetic chain and caused my knee issues.

A couple of weeks later I had to cut an April/May 2014 trip to Dublin short and fly home early because I could hardly walk let alone be out strolling around town, sightseeing (I could barely handle the stairs at my mother-in-law’s house for cripes’ sake!) and the same sports doctor, when I showed up at her office feeling desperate, insisted I should’ve been able to handle the trip, literally threw up her hands and said there was nothing else she could do for me. I turned down the again offered cortisone shot which I’d read could cause more problems than it cured and which my GP had warned me she wouldn’t want herself. But as per the sport doctor's advice I went ahead and had $500 custom orthotics made by a professional pedorthist who analyzed my gait, then adjusted those same orthotics four times over four months for me because DAMN they hurt something treacherous, only to find at the end of that period the super duper expensive insoles STILL hurt my heels so much more than if I were wearing the Superfeet insoles I’d previously bought from the Running Room (and which I still use and find helpful now).

Desperate to make headway and get my mobility back I relegated the custom made orthotics from hell to the back of my closet and in late August 2014 I began radial shockwave therapy, a treatment which supposedly helps 80% of chronic plantar fasciitis cases but instead rocketed my feet into a new level of pain that lasted for five days after each of the four treatments before ultimately returning me to my previous baseline level of OUCH.

Nothing worked for me. Nothing. Not the radial shockwave therapy treatments. Not physio. Not the daily stretching exercises for my feet or strengthening exercises for areas around my knee. Not the foam rolling. Not the hellish night splint sock that only seemed to destabilize my knee further so that sometimes I’d have to hold the kneecap in place when I got up from a seated position. Not the massage therapy I went for at the local hospital where the massage therapist admitted she didn’t believe she could help me and mentioned that my feet didn’t feel to her as though I had plantar fasciitis. In fact, she told me if I hadn’t given her any explanation, from the feel of my legs she would’ve thought I had fibromyalgia rather than plantar fasciitis and patellofemoral syndrome.

Instead of feeling better over time things got odder, strange sensations—weakness, numbness, and pain up and down my legs, not just in my feet or my knees. All through this, over months and months, I was constantly revisiting my GP who sent me for bloodwork, more bloodwork, yet more bloodwork, a nerve conduction study and EMG, and a vascular study. And all through this it was difficult to stand for any length of time but nearly as difficult to sit—a strange tightness would build up at the back of my legs after awhile and I’d have to get up and start moving again only to sit down when that became too much for my heels. And all through this it would hurt my knees to bend. Low cupboards became a problem. Stairs were my arch-enemy. Picking things from the floor required careful consideration. I took to wearing knee braces which at first seemed to help provide support and then felt unbearable.

Using the torturous night splint sock on my trip to Dublin in April/May 2014

So sitting and standing for any time were both bad, what was left, lying down? I tried that for a good while too but the less I moved the stranger and more persistent my leg pains and weird sensations became—particularly in a space at the back of my legs about a foot long—until my GP suggested swimming pool exercises which helped reduce the weirdness but not eliminate it. What's also helped a bit are the Z-Coil shoes I picked up in June. They reduce the impact on your heels and joints by 60% more than regular shoes.  

Despite these measures, the strange sensations at the back of my legs is constant now, just not as severe. And I’m STILL like a Jack in the Box who has to keep popping up. I can stand and sit for longer than before, but not anywhere near a normal duration. I need to move. Then stop. Then move again. Never for too long or too far mind you. Not nearly long enough to do a full time seated office job and, well, if I manage to amble around a shopping mall for an hour and a half (with seated rest periods to break up the time) I’m doing well and feel extremely pleased with myself. I often used to walk for hours at a time without thinking anything of it and miss it terribly. Now all but the shortest strolls are a thing of the past, as are concerts that require standing or things like art gallery or museum visits. Even movie watching at the local theatre can be a challenge and requires that I have enough room around me to allow me to fully extend my legs at regular intervals. This is life in the sloooow lane!

I joined a wonderfully supportive plantar fasciitis sufferers group on Facebook and traded horror stories and treatment regimens with other folks who couldn’t seem to shake their plantar fasciitis. The group helped my morale quite a bit (misery loves company), but why the hell were so many of us still suffering after following medical advice to a T and after undergoing not just one but multiple PF procedures?

And what about my blood work and the various medical studies? Well, time after time my blood work came back as perfectly fine. No sign of vitamin deficiencies or any other underlying conditions. My vascular study results were normal but my nerve conduction study results were not. The January 2015 nerve conduction study showed I have polyneuropathy that the neurologist said an older person might have without a cause but at my age there would be a reason for. However, at the time of my study he didn’t believe that my polyneuropathy was responsible for my foot and knee pain. Since then I’ve had a knee MRI which showed nothing more than very minor degeneration of the menisci, but nothing out of line for a woman my age and certainly nothing, I’m told, that should be causing the degree and wide area of pain and unusual sensations at the back of my legs. Since then I’ve also seen a rheumatologist who sent me for a feet ultrasound theorizing that I don’t have plantar fasciitis at all and that my neuropathy (which so far after, masses of blood work, is of unknown cause) is causing the vast majority of my issues.

one of my knee X-rays

And guess what? That feet ultrasound I had on September 10th, it was normal. I don’t have plantar fasciitis—the condition I had shockwave therapy, physio, and orthotics for and have now spent so much time, energy and money trying to cure. I mean, hell, no wonder none of the treatments worked, they were for a problem that I don’t have! And neither do I have much wrong with my knees. The rheumatologist said sometimes they can give kneecaps a cortisone shot but in a case as minor as mine they wouldn’t normally even do that, which makes sense because most of the pain and strangeness I feel is at the back (and well above and below) of the knee, not in the kneecap itself.

The rheumatologist wants me to see a neurologist, which will be the next step, but my GP warns the wait could be six months. They’re thin on the ground, unfortunately. And I can’t help but feel angry and short-changed by that sports doctor who pushed a cortisone shot that I didn’t need and who didn’t bother to send me for an ultrasound even though she said she’d never seen a case of plantar fasciitis that had lasted longer than a year, and I was at a year and a half and counting when I walked into her office in April, 2014.

For the moment I don’t know what’s really wrong with me, what’s given rise to the polyneuropathy that’s apparently caused—and continues to cause—me so much trouble, but it isn’t plantar fasciitis. If you, too, have been suffering for a long time and keep getting the term ‘plantar fasciitis’ hurled at you, go get that ultrasound. Print out the two articles I linked to at the start of this post and hand them to your doctor if that’s what it takes to convince them you need one. Because it just might be that plantar fasciitis isn’t what you’re suffering from either, and that no amount of rolling your foot on a frozen water bottle or stretching your calves will make one teensy bit of difference. 

***

Read my health update: Ain't No Cure, But I Have My Z-Coils (August 2016)

Yesterday I was at Niagara-on-the-Lake for the first time in about a year. If the dictionary sported photos along with definitions under ‘picturesque’ you’d find an image of this quaint theatre town of 15,000 people which is home to the Shaw Festival. Because my plantar fasciitis isn’t much better after over a year of sheer plantar HELL (yep, I have a doozy of a case that physio, expensive custom made orthotics and shockwave therapy haven’t helped, and some nice heel spurs – ouch – now show up on X-rays) I can only walk at a purposeful pace for about fifteen minutes before intense heel pain stops me in my tracks or up to an hour if I can amble at a shopping mall/supermarket pace. As a result I spent *a lot* of time on the benches that line Queen Street yesterday. A lot, a lot! Thankfully there are many benches, with some interesting and heartfelt remembrance plaques to go with them.

 

 

While in town one of the highlights is always the Christmas shop, which features gorgeous and kitschy (like this NHL themed tree) decorations alike.

 

I made sure to say hello to my old polar bear friend (photo of my previous visit with him here). He's such a fine dresser that he makes me feel schleppy.

And, of course, one of life's biggest pleasures is exploring great independent bookstores! So if you're in the area don't miss the charming Old Niagara Bookshop on Regent Street. You'll want to pick up something from their wonderfully unique collection.

 

One of the books we snapped up was this adorably tiny version of  Sherlock Holmes: The Essential Mysteries in One Sitting.

In Niagara-on-the-Lake even your dog gets the Downton Abbey treatment! Look at this water bowl, on an ornate platter and complete with a flower for decoration, left out in front of a local shop for your pooch to drink from.

 

Paddy is a huge fan of  the flavoured coffees at Victoria's Teas & Coffees which makes stopping in there a must also. For non-coffee or tea people, like me, they have a great gelato collection too. 

Lastly, rarely do we visit Niagara-on-the-Lake without dining at The Olde Angel Inn, Established in 1789, it's the oldest operating inn in Ontario. That considered, its reputation for being haunted is hardly surprising. They also serve exceptionally tasty pub food. Below you can see the Ploughman’s Lunch Paddy ordered: a selection of cheeses, fresh vegetables, fruit, pickled onions, hardboiled egg, Piccalilli, Branston Pickle and served with fresh bread and crackers.

I've been seated by this picture of King John signing the Magna Carta several times and always have a hard time taking my eyes off it. 

One of the wait staff noticed me snapping pictures of it and kindly moved a coat rack out of the way so I could capture an unobscured view. Then she shared the first of several ghostly stories about the inn. She's been working there for over ten years and on this past June 12th, the eight hundred year anniversary of King John's signing of the Magna Carta, the above painting, which has been hanging on this wall for over fifty-five years without incident, suddenly flew off the wall and hit her forcefully in the back.

A close-up of King John looking peeved

When I reacted to her account with equal parts delight and anxiety, she showed me a recent letter from a female inn guest who had written to her describing her own ghostly encounter while staying in the General's Quarters, in the bedroom closest to the sitting room. There she was awoken in the middle of the night by the smell of cold ashes and a dark, shapeless presence who began pulling at the bed covers and pillow. Her sister, in a separate room, also had strange experiences and the second night, freaked out by the strange energy of the place, the two ended up cowering in a room together until dawn arrived. The guest concludes her correspondence by vouching for the presence of active spirits in the inn but stating she had a thoroughly enjoyable stay nevertheless. 

So slow were Paddy and I to finish our lunch that I was able to coax a third story out of the same employee, this one involving the table next to us. Some time ago a woman and her young son were having a meal there. The pub's bathroom is located downstairs and at one point the woman took her son down. Once they were back seated in the restaurant he asked her matter-of-factly who the man with no feet at the top of the stairs had been (although there'd be no one there!). But apparently the woman didn't think much of it at the time, or until some point later when she was at home looking through photo album pictures with her son. He pointed out at photo of his great grandfather (a man he had supposedly never met) and said that was the man he'd seen at the top of the stairs that day. Eventually the customer shared this story with the employee I was speaking with, who didn't have any further details about who the great grandfather was and whether he'd ever lived in the Niagara area. Personally, I wonder if the boy may have thought he was the same man because of old fashioned clothes and style the apparition could have been sporting, but either way it makes a very cool story and I really appreciate her taking the time to share these incidences with me.

If you want to read more about paranormal activity at the inn you can start at this Niagara website, and the inn's own site. There are also a couple of accounts on a Toronto Ghosts page and whether you're into ghost-hunting or just want to grab some good food, The Olde Angel Inn is a great place to spend some time while in Niagara-on-the-Lake. But lest you think it's all about the nosh and the goosebumps, the Olde Angel Inn also has a romantic heart. The wooden walls of the women's bathroom stalls are entirely covered in declarations of love. Most of them etched roughly into the wood and others inked on with marker.

And don't forget to read some of  the dedications on the town benches--they tell mini stories of their own!

Sadly, I missed the Toronto International Film Festival this past September because I wasn't capable of standing in line for more than ten minutes (the damn plantar fasciitis and patellofemoral syndrome--—yep, still!). Plus, If you have trouble with your knees you'll know how uncomfortable it can be to sit with them bent for any length of time. But I've still been going to the movies; I just fidget like CRAZY throughout, straightening my legs every fifteen minutes or so. Let me apologize here for anyone I might've driven bonkers (I swear I typically try to pick an otherwise empty row) with my cinema-restlessness!

But what I really want to say is that Australian end of the world flick These Final Hours is exactly the kind of gem I go to the festival to discover, a film you otherwise might miss because it doesn't have a big budget, a wide-release or tons of promotional $ behind it.

What it does have going for it are wonderfully convincing performances from Nathan Phillips (James) and Angourie Rice (Rose) as its central characters and a compelling plotline which begins with the destruction of Western Europe and North America—after the Atlantic is hit by a meteor—and is destined to end with the frying of Australia in twelve hours' time.

Our setting is Perth, Western Australia looking every inch the last outpost of a fast-vanishing civilization. As the film kicks into gear, society rapidly unspooling, James's only plan for the end of the world is to face the moment out of his head so he won't feel the pain of annihilation. But en route to his own personal oblivion, James stumbles upon a situation he can't ignore, rescuing Rose from reprobate abductors.

With the clock ticking down a lifetime shrinks down to hours. As James deals with the hardest questions, we are forced to ponder them ourselves. How do we say goodbye? At the very end, who and what still matters?

If you admired Miracle Mile and Melancholia and are intrigued by the idea of a film that plays like the flipside of On the Beach, These Final Hours is for you, an entirely realistic but not heartless rendering of the end of life on our planet seen through the eyes of one man.

* Toronto Star Review

* Guardian Review

In restrospect, paying a visit to the Toronto Zoo at the end of March—when my plantar fasciitis was already a chronic problem and my knees even unhappier than my feet—wasn't the brightest idea. But fourth month old Humphrey beckoned. How could I resist?

And he was adorable. Have a look:

If you haven't already, you might want to take a look at Humphrey's video album clips of his early days. Here's one of my favourite videos—Humphrey's first steps:

And here are Humphrey's parents in the water (family friend hanging out on the rocks in the background).

If you've ever been to the Toronto Zoo, you'll know it's huge. 2.87 km² to be exact. Paddy and I didn't walk all of it that day at the end of March, but we didn't exactly take it easy either. Seeing the pandas was another must. I hadn't laid eyes on pandas in person since the last time they were at the Toronto Zoo, way back in 1985.

This time around a wide-eyed little girl in a stroller was peering at the pandas at the same time as we were. I'm not sure how old she was, definitely not more than a year, but her mother informed us that she had a beloved plush toy panda at home and now couldn't believe her eyes. Indeed, awe lit up this little girl's face like a sunny July. Yes, pandas are REAL. There is true magic in the world.

Magic and beauty like the stunning white lions, and all sorts of intriguing creatures from Australia's Kookaburra to a brand new mountain gorilla baby.

So I'm not the least bit sorry I went to the zoo at the end of March, but I couldn't do it now. For the last six weeks or so twenty minutes of standing/very ginger walking has been my absolute maxium, which meant I had to cut the Dublin trip short. As it was, the majority of my holiday looked much like this, and I've been spending countless hours in the night splint sock since returning to Canada too.

Yep, I'm pretty much housebound. But I'm very grateful for the time I had visiting with family and friends while in Ireland, and am already looking forward to the next trip. In the meantime I'm continuing to do battle with plantar fasciitis, tendonitis and patellofemoral syndrome. My latest weapon is orthotics. Voila the molds of my Frankenfeet

which were used to produce some incredibly hard custom insoles designed to correct my specific feet imbalances. Luckily, I can still type and so none of this will interfere with revisions on The Sweetest Thing You Can Sing that I'm expecting later today.

Me and my Frankenfeet will be back online once I'm done editing. Meanwhile, If you happen to visit the Toronto zoo, please give Humphrey my love!

Now I know why Frankenstein's monster usually looks so miserable. It's not existential angst or loneliness, not even body image problems. Nope, none of that. What's wrong with Frankenstein's monster is foot pain. Specifically, plantar fasciitis.

Mayo Clinic definition: "pain and inflammation of a thick band of tissue, called the plantar fascia, that runs across the bottom of your foot and connects your heel bone to your toes."

I can tell by the look in his eyes. This guy is in physical agony.

No doubt all his joints ache. But the soles of his feet, they're in excruciating pain. He feels like gravity is pummelling his soles into the hard ground beneath his feet. If he sits down, for a few minutes of relief, his feet howl at him when he rises again. But staying on his feet for more than a handful of a minutes at a time is a problem too. The pain is more or less constant.

When he's sleeping the stabbing pain wakes him at least once a night, and makes it difficult for him to fall asleep in the first place. Granted, he probably wouldn't sleep like a log anyway, because of the other issues I mentioned, like the existential angst and feelings of alienation. But it's the feet——the plantar fasciitis——which is Frankenstein's monster's numero uno problem.

How do I know this? I recognize that haunted PF look in his eyes because, man, I'm feeling that Frankenstein's monster foot pain big-time. For the first while——and by that I mean, like, the first year——the foot pain didn't interfere with my life very much. My heel hurt a little when I got on my feet after a period of sitting or sleeping and then the pain swiftly disappeared. My doctor suggested I wear supportive shoes at all times, even indoors (staring at this full length photo of the monster, I seriously think he needs to get his hands on some New Balance running shoes!) and I did.

But that didn't help. Instead the pain got worse. Then my knees started to hurt too. Not a lot and not often. But enough for me to return to the doctor, who diagnosed patellofemoral syndrome (runner's knee) on top of my plantar fasciitis. She prescribed physiotherapy, and off I went, happy to hear from my physiotherapist that I should begin to feel better in 2 - 3 weeks and be back to my old self in 8 - 10. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and instead my condition got exponentially worse. After 5 weeks I was advised to drop the physio, and now, about a month afterwards, I'm at a place where the last two weeks have been the worst yet.

The arches of my feet are in severe pain. They're most comfortable when I'm lying down, but even then they feel stiff and achy, like someone else's feet have been roughly attached to my body. Sometimes darting pains wake me up at night. During the day, I can't be on my feet for more than a handful of minutes at a time before the pain becomes unbearable. Sometimes the pain is so bad I'm driven to tears and chills. My knees can't handle stairs and feel like they're being sliced into if I squat or bend at the knee at all, or even sometimes if I don't. My calves are so tight that they feel as though they're about to snap and my IT band is a mess too. My normal gait doesn't exist anymore. I limp and wince.

Just yesterday I began seeing a sports doctor who says my severe case of plantar fasciitis gave rise to patellofemoral syndrome in both my knees and has affected my whole kinetic chain, hence the pain in my legs, thighs, calves and, well, just about everywhere from the waist down. I was also diagnosed with this mouthful of a condition: Flexor Hallucis Longus tendinopathy. Lovely, huh? Now I'm going to be trying a number of things she's suggested——some of which will have to wait until I get back from my upcoming trip to Ireland (during which I will be spending more time sitting down than anything!) because orthotics and night splints need to be broken in gradually.

But these ongoing health issues have been crowding my life since December/January and are some of the reasons that I haven't been online often. I'm almost as tired and beleaguered as Frankenstein's monster looks in the top photo! So once I kick this thing I'm determined to search out the poor monster, share my weapons of choice against planter fasciitis and finally, finally bring him some much needed peace.

Additional reading on the condition:

* Everything you need to know about Plantar Fasciitis
*  Plantar Fasciitis article at Sports Injury Clinic.net
*  Plantar Fasciitis -- the most maddening injury in sports
*  Plantar Fasciitis overview at Patient.co.uk
*  Plantar Fasciitis Prevention and Treatment
*  No Consensus on a Common Cause of Foot Pain

I've just come from a rather long appointment with my GP. Cost to me: FREE. Then follow-up blood-work. Cost to me: FREE. Next, multiple X-rays at the local hospital. Cost to me: FREE. When I can get an appointment with the sports doctor I've been referred to that will also be FREE.

All thanks to Canadian socialized medicine!

Meanwhile Stephen Harper's Conservative government is trying to sabotage "the Health Accord that protects equal care for all Canadians" by quietly "cutting $36 billion over 10 years and breaking the pact that all Canadians should get equal care, no matter what province they live in."

"By pulling out of the agreement, cutting billions in transfers, and letting standards fall across the country, Prime Minister Harper will undermine our public health system.

If he succeeds, cash-starved provinces will face intense pressure to let America’s titanic for-profit companies buy into our system and give us worse care for higher prices."

You can begin the fight for our health care system by emailing your Member of Parliament, Prime Minister Harper and and Health Minister Rona Ambrose via Lead Now.

Then please pass this message on to everyone across the country. A whopping 94% of Canadians "support public —not private, for-profit— solutions to making the country's healthcare system stronger." We can't let Harper gut our treasured healthcare system.